literature

S/01 EP/ 02 Going Green

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Red and Blue were walking to a Bullseye store to buy more food for their apartment. “Awwww, but I don’t wanna go to that store.” Red whined as he dragged his feet

Blue rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Real mature dude. If you don’t want to come then go play in that kiddie playground.” He said sarcastically

Red looks at the kids playing at the playground. “Alright!” He runs towards the playground. “Out of the way you little bitches!” Red ran over to start taking over this playground and pushing kids out of the way.

Blue’s eye twitched. “That was sarcasm you fucking… Ah god damn it!” Blue gave up throwing his hands into the air and walking into the store. “Just still be out here to help me carry the bags of food when I get back!”

Red starts pushing kids in a group before him and putting on his batman outfit to look dark and intimidating. But the kids only gave annoyed stares “Alright, hear me my minions!” the kids look at each other confused and then back at Red. “As your new leader we shall destroy the enemy with a single blow and take their land, their booze, and their women as our personal sex slaves! Any questions?”

A kid raises his hand and Red points out to him to speak. “Um sir? Who is the enemy and what are sex slaves?”

Red shot a lazer beam from his eyes to hit the kid and disintegrating him to dust. Then Red looks threateningly at the other children to speak with a deep demonic voice with the background on fire and eyes glowing. “Any other questions?” The kids shake their heads rapidly in fear. “Ok now let’s raise hell!”

Wolf walks by passing the playground seeing Red yelling at kids. “What the hell are you doing in a pansy shit place like this?”

Red gasps from seeing Wolf. “Wolf!” He jumps out of the playground to meet the calmed psychopath. “Later suckas! You’re on your own!”

The kids start cheering right after Red leaves the playground. “Yay! The Red dork is gone!”

Wolf glares at the kids. “I would cut their heads off if they said that to me.”

Red starts thinking about something.  “hmmm. I feel like I forgot something.” Suddenly an explosion erupts sending some of the kids screaming through the air “Oh that was it!  I should have disarmed that bomb we were gonna use for the attack with?”

Wolf shrugs. “Oh well it worked out in the end and for the best.”

Lord Tourettes comes up from behind Wolf and Red. “Well greeting my FUCK TITTIES!”

Wolf quickly grabs Lord Tourettes by the throat and flips him onto a nearby table and thrusting his knife into the table right by his neck. “You have two seconds before I give you breast by using your eyes for implants, fuck face!”

Lord Tourettes stares in fright with shrunken pupils seeing how close he is to death. “Oh my! Please I didn’t mean to FUCKING offend you!”

Wolf raises up a brow in confusion to Lord Tourettes’ statement. “Wait, what?”

Red intervenes and separates the two from each other. “Yo dude, chill. Don’t worry about what he says, he’s Lord Tourettes. He has Tourette syndrome) he explained for the green feminine man.

Wolf put’s his knife away. “So them’s the breaks. Lucky for him.”

“Yeah, he does this a lot. But don’t worry he’s cool.” Said Red as he vouched for his friend.

Wolf made the gesture that he had his eye on green spas and puts the knife away. Lord Tourettes gets up as if nothing has happened. “Well now who is this new JACKOFF of yours?” He giggles.

Wolf restraints himself from reacting violently at the feminine way the man acted.

Red speaks for Wolf to avoid any hostility. “This is Wolf.” Red introduced before speaking in a whisper. “He’s a bit of a psychopath.”

“Well fan-FUCKING-tastic. I just know we’re going to be the BREAST FUCKING of friends.” Said Lord Tourettes in a cheery manner after his spasming outbursts.

“Hey let’s ditch this asshole of a shit-can and get some burritos. Now, where is there a burrito place?”

Wolf sees a Boarder Hopper bookstore to cut through and was hatching up a plan with a grin. “Hey Red! Let's head through here.” Wolf motions his eye from Lord Tourettes to the bookstore with a scheming grin. Red Is confused to Wolf’s meaning. The annoyed man rolls his eyes and groans. “Just follow me. I know a slight detour.”

“Well, if you think it will be SHITTING faster. The let us go FUCKCARPINABITCHASSMOTHEFUCKER!” Lord Tourettes shouted in a series of spasms before giggling

“Just keep that Mentality issue to yourself for a while.” Wolf said leading the way in.

The three men start crossing the bookstore while Red and Wolf stick a message on Lord Tourettes’ back saying “Ask me for help” An unfortunate woman comes up to Lord Tourettes with a question. “Excuse me, can you recommend a book to read from the fiction section?” She whispers

“Well, I don’t FUCKING know. But I do believe you COCKSUCKING book may be SHITTING in that direction.” He said before walking off and leaves the woman shocked and appalled at Lord Tourette’s outburst. Red and Wolf tries to hold in their laughter as a kid with a book for kids comes up to Lord Tourettes next.

“Excuse me mister. What does this book say?” The kid asked quietly.

Lord Tourettes clapped his hands with joy. “Well, it says, the little engine who FUCKED! There you go little SHIT FOR BRAINS LITTLE BASTARD!” He said before giggling with a skip in his step. The kid runs off crying as Red and Wolf find it harder to contain their laughter.

Then a bookstore clerk comes up to Lord Tourettes. “Excuse me sir can you read a short story to these kids from a school?” She asked.

Lord Tourettes became excited for the opportunity. “Oh splendid! Why of course.”

“Oh man we gotta see this.” Red said in a hushed voice.

Wolf nodded just as eager. “I'll steal some popcorn and you get us some front row seats.”

Later on, everyone sat in front of Lord Tourettes and Red and Wolf had some popcorn and soda as they watched Lord Tourettes about to read a book. “Now this story is called; See Jane Walk.” Red and Wolf snorted their contained laughter. “Excuse me, is there something funny?” The clerked asked the two men.

“No, no. We are just eager to listen to the story.” Wolf said waving her to go on with the reading.

“Yeah, yeah. We are really going to enjoy the reaction of these kids when the story begins.” Said Red waiting for the story to begin.

“Aww, aren’t you two sweet.” The clerk said finding it nice of them.

“Let's begin.” Lord Tourettes said as he began on to read the first page with a giggle. “This is Jane. See Jane FUCK! See Jane SHIT!” He shouted as the kids and parents sat petrified and wide mouthed while Red and Wolf began to laugh out loud. “See Jane CRAP! Hear Jane PISS! See Jane play with her BALLS! See Jane throw her COCK! See Jane join the other kids to EATFUCKINGDONKEYSEAMENANDCRAPINGSHITLOADSOFCOCKBALLSOFPISS! The end.” He finished his uncontrolled version of the book.

later after leaving the bookstore and eating at a burrito stand with Red and Wolf still laughing. “So, you FUCK-TARDS! What did you think of my story telling?” Lord Tourettes asked feeling proud from their so-called compliments.

Red laughed in between words. “Oh man… You should really… make it into… a career.

Wolf was laughing between words as well. “Or maybe… print out audio story… for every book.”

Lord Tourettes was pleased by their words. “Oh my. You really SHIT so?”

Wolf nodded. “Yeah totally. We’ll get you some audio tapes and books for you some time to record your reading.”

Red Begins to calm down from his laughter “Ahh shit, that was great.” He starts to think for a minute feeling he forgot something. “For some reason I feel we forgot something.” He said before a brief moment to think of what it was. “Oh well, probably not important.”

Back at Bullseye with Blue holding lots of purchased items. “Red? Reeeeed?!” He called out waiting for Red’s response. After a moment of silence then he shouts. “Oh, goddammit not again!”

-Episode Ends-

Red and Blue run into Wolf at Maulmart, but this time Wolf meets another person almost as green as him.

Dick Figures and canon characters belongs to Ed Scudder and Zack Keller

Season 1: Episode 2

Going Green

(redone)

© 2014 - 2024 Alpha-Lonewolf
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elfmoon3's avatar
-tries to hold the urge to laugh-