literature

S/ 01 EP/ 07 Tickled Pink

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Literature Text

(Blue and Pink are in the park having a picnic)

Pink: Oh Blue, this is such a lovely date out here in the fresh air having a picnic.

Blue: (Thinking) This is it! Red’s off at a burrito convention and I’m finally alone with Pink! (thinks a minute) I wonder what he’s doing?

(scene changed to the Burrito Convention with Red chasing after a screaming man dressed as a realistic burrito with a long sword)

Burrito Man: Ay Caramba!!

Red: By the demon spawns of hell… I SHALL EAT YOU GOD OF ALL BURRITOS!!!

Blue: (back to Blue‘s thoughts) Ah he’s probably doing fine. (talks to Pink) Well I just thought I could take you somewhere even more beautiful.

Pink: Oh Blue.

(they begin to lean in for a kiss)

Wolf: Oh Shit!

Blue: (breaks away from Pink distressed) Oh Fuck!

Pink: (pissed) Oh come on!

Wolf: So this is your girlfriend Pink.

Pink: Who are you?

Blue: Oh uh… Pink this is my friend Wolf, Wolf this is Pink.

Wolf: (inspecting) Hmm… nice pair.

Pink: Excuse me?

Blue: Uh! What he means is that we make a nice pair.

Wolf: Yeah that too. So Blue have you two fucked lately?

Blue: WOLF!

Man: (random guy in the background) What! Where?

Wolf: No he meant me!

Man: Oh, ok then. I guess I’ll be on my… (Wolves suddenly attack him out of nowhere)

Wolf: Hey, don’t forget to leave me a leg!

(a wolf barks in reply)

Blue: Dude why the fuck are you here?

Wolf: The outside is my territory so why the fuck are you here?

Blue: Me and Pink are on a date!

Pink: Maybe I should go. (gets up to leave)

Blue: No wait Pink!

Wolf: (places a hand in front of Blue) Don’t worry I got this.

Blue: Please dude don’t make this any worse!

Wolf: Hey you’re talking to the wolf man.

Blue: Oh God, why do you have you fuck my life?

(camera moves to above the clouds to show Zeus)

Zeus: Because Zeus is the man bitch!

(back to the Wolf going after Pink as she continues to walk home, but is freaked the fuck out as Wolf pops out of nowhere)

Wolf: (pounces on Pink) HEY PINKY!!!

Pink: (scream) WHAT THE HELL!!!

Wolf: (gets up) Well it’s nice to meet you too. Say where you going?

Pink: I’m going home.

Wolf: Oh come on, if you’re going to be dating Blue you might as well get to know his friends right?

Pink: I’ve already met Red and that’s about all I can stand. (begins to leave)

Wolf: (Wolf pulls out a whip and snatches Pink) Well then prepare to stand a lot more cuz you about to see me more often around Blue. (carries her off)

Pink: What the hell you dick! Let me go!

(Later at a burger shack)

Wolf: So Blue’s girlfriend are you enjoying yourself?

(Pink glares and growls at Wolf as she is tied up siting at the table)

Wolf: Good glad to hear that.

Pink: I hate you.

Wolf: Really, Blue tells me that a lot too, now that’s something you both have in common.

(Pink tries to struggle a lot harder)

Wolf: Something tells me you want to leave?

Pink: No shit, what ever gave you the hint?

Wolf: Wild guess.

HungryGrox: (comes in and orders a burger and looks at Wolf and Pink) Uh... may I ask what the hell is going on?

(Pink looks at HungryGrox, relieved)

Pink: Oh thank god that you are here, Grox! This guy is trying to murder me or something!

HungryGrox: Wait, wait! Hold on! Who is this guy?

Wolf: Name's Wolf.

HungryGrox: Nice to meet ya' Wolf. So Pink, why are you tied up like that?

Pink: (Growls) Forget it... (Pink growls even more)

Wolf: You know you should be happy I’m Blue’s friend.

Pink: Pray tell me why is that?

HungryGrox: Yeah, why that?

Wolf: Well after some bad run ins with some guys, he’s on the top kill lists of certain groups of killers.

Pink: (panics) Wait what?

Wolf: Yeah, your Blue boo is wanted by some of the most notorious gangs in the city. The Golden Lotus Dragon Ninjas, the Street Artist Gang, The Pedo Bear…

HungryGrox: YOU DID WHAT?!

Pink: (furious) You got Blue on the top kill lists of a bunch of thugs!?!

Wolf: Don’t worry I’m sure there are a lot more I can place his name under.

Pink: Blue is going to hunted down for the rest of his life!

Wolf: Look at the bright side, it makes him a bit more awesome to be wanted by the top killer gangs in the city.

HungryGrox: A bit more awesome? You do not know what is really the top killer gang in the ci- and I should not tell you more about my job...

(Pink tries to attack Wolf, despite her still being tied, while Wolf just holds her away by placing his hand against her forehead)

Pink: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!

Wolf: Take a number and get in line.

(The Street Artist Gang jump out and attack the two)

S.A. Gang Member: There he is with the blue one’s girlfriend. Get them both!

Wolf: (throws Pink in the air to have her binding snag onto a light post) I got this. (brings out his knives and starts slaughtering each S.A. member down to the last man with out giving them a chance) Dammit! I wanted them to live a bit more for my killing pleasure. Oh well.

(HungryGrox climbs up the light post and cuts of Pink's bindings)

HungryGrox: Wolf, what the fuck was that?

Pink: What the fuck was that?

Wolf: I like to call it a pleasurable mow down.

Pink: We have to get back to Blue he might be in danger!

Wolf: Ok I guess.

(they both head back to Blue back at the park to see him laying in the grass waiting)

Pink: BLUE!!!

Blue: (turns to Pink) Pink?! (they both grab hold of each other while Wolf coolly walks back) Wolf! What did you do?!

Wolf: Oh you know have a friendly chat, get something to eat, kill a bunch of S.A. gang members…

Blue: (furious) WHAT!?! (checks Pink over) Pink are you alright? Did they hurt you?

Pink: No, Wolf tied me up and placed me on a light post while he killed them all.

HungryGrox: And I cut her down from the light post

Wolf: Hey it worked didn’t it?

Blue: I don’t know weather to be thankful or just plain out hate you.

Wolf: Both are fine.

(A thousand GLD Ninjas jump out from hidden areas around the vicinity)

Blue and Pink: Oh Shit!

Wolf: Time to go rabid.

(grabs Blue and Pink and throws them in a nearby building through a window)

GLD Ninja: Insolent dog! You have foiled our plan to destroy the Nature’s Ninja Clan and you have defeated our master (speaks in a deep low voice) therefore... You… shall… die.

(HungryGrox runs away and jumps into the building)

Wolf: (pulls out an Dpod) Bring it on calamari dick!

(the GLD ninjas move to attack as Wolf places an ear phone in one ear as it plays “Children of the Gun” Instantly a energy meter appears and shows Wolf’s energy power going off the chart and causing the meter to catch on fire and explode just as Wolf explodes with energy blowing some ninjas away. Ninjas attack Wolf as he counters with his main weapons while guns start to float out of his pockets and attack on their own. He proceeds to jump around taking out ninjas with his K-bars, floating guns, and using the surrounding environment to kill the ninjas. Ninjas begin surrounding and breaking into the building, HungryGrox begin slaughtering the ninjas with two 24k gold knives, as more and more ninjas come he morphs into a GLD ninja. He throws away the knives and picks up Blue and starts using him as a two-handed mace. He throws Blue on the ground next to Pink and begins ripping the ninjas' throats out and cracking their skulls open)

HungryGrox: (Eats a ninja's brain) TASTES LIKE CHICKEN!

(Pink and Blue begin to gain consciousness as half a ninja flies in and falls on Pink causing her to scream. Blue looks out to see the carnage)

Blue: What the… (a GLD ninja’s head flies in a strikes Blue’s face) OH MY GOD!!!

(Finally Wolf uses a final strike and uses a rain storm of knives, bullets, and explosives to drop from the skies decimating the area as only three ninjas remain)

Wolf: (Crazed smile grows on wolf’s face as his eyes start to ignite with flames) I could only let one of you to live. (pulls out two light sword) Now who should it be?

Three GLD Ninjas: HOLY SHIT!!!

(Wolf proceeds to cut two of them in clean and precise strikes in a split second before having their chopped parts burst in the air and blood starts to rain down from the sky with other parts of ninjas falling)

Wolf: (then approaches the terrified ninja) Tell your clan to better send more advanced assassins, cuz I’m starting to get bo-

HungryGrox: (comes in and blows up the ninja's head with a SPAS-12) FUCK YES!

Wolf: On second thought, this is much better.

(Blue comes out with Pink)

Blue: Oh my God dude that was totally awesome! (Wolf then farts and he turns back to normal) Aaaand then that had to happen.

HungryGrox: Are you serious?

Wolf: Well you know what they say better out than in right?

Pink: (troubled look) Blue?

Blue: Pink what is it?

Pink: I don’t know if this is going to work out.

Blue: What?

Pink: You’re friends are too much for me to handle and I don’t think we’ll ever make it like this?

Blue: Pink wait… No.

Pink: I’m sorry Blue, but I just don’t want to deal with this anymore.

Wolf: (starts getting pissed) Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait! YOU don’t want to deal with this anymore?!

Blue: Wolf I…

Wolf: Shut it! Grown up talking. (turns back at Pink)

Pink: Look you and Red are just to much for me to have a relationship with Blue and…

Wolf: NO! You look! (Pink jumps back a bit) Do you have any idea what this guy goes through everyday? Do you realize how much he sacrifices to make room enough to spend time with you? (poking Pink between the eyebrows forcefully) He has to deal with us mostly every second of the day! He has to get dragged along with us in our everyday event! Yet, that does not stop him from wanting to spend whatever time he has left to try to be with you!

HungryGrox: Uhhh... yeah, that's true I guess...

Pink: (Pink looks at Blue touched) Blue?

Wolf: (Pushes Blue towards Pink) Now you give this guy what he deserves or else… well you don’t want to know the what else.

Pink: (Pink jumps in Blues arms) Oh Blue I never knew you felt like this. I’m so sorry.

Blue: Of course I always felt like this Pink. (turns to Wolf) Thanks man you really are a good guy.

Wolf: Ahh don’t worry, I’ll be back to making life a nightmare for you soon enough.

Blue: I’ll just take that as a your welcome.

Wolf: Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go puke. All this mush is gonna make me throw up my whole stomach. Well let’s just say I was tickled pink to meet you… yeah I’ll think of a better one later.

(Wolf jumps away leaving a small crater in the ground)

Blue: There goes a really psychotic friend.

Pink: (looks to Blue seductively) So Blue, how about I take you somewhere special?

Blue: (nervous) Uh what do you mean by that?

Pink: Meaning my bed.

HungryGrox: I think I should go... (teleports away)

Blue: (thinking) Oh my God!

Wolf: (faint distant voice) You owe me for this Blue.

Blue: How did he hear th…

-Episode Ends-

It is time for Wolf to meet Blue’s girlfriend and add a new wrinkle of stress to both their heads. Will Pink stand to stay with Blue with a new psychotic friend of his or will this only prove her devotion to Blue.

© 2014 - 2024 Alpha-Lonewolf
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ShiningLight50's avatar
I was wrong about you wolf. You do Have a heart. I mean your still psychotic as fuck, but a good heart none the less.