S/03 EP/ 06 A Wolf Meets Death

(Wolf brings a basket of grenades outside)

Foully: Seriously shit head, do you really need to fucking do this?

Wolf: give me one good reason this is a bad idea.

Foully: I can list a fucking hundred reasons why its a bad idea you cock.

Rapper: Yeah. Maybe we should just back out of this!

Wolf: Live grenade juggling is on my to do list.

Rapper: (face palm) Oh great.

Foully: Fucking last to do list if you ask me asshole.

Rapper: Just get it over with so we won't have to do this again!

Wolf: Okay I just remove these pins and... (The grenades explode all at once)

Foully: (uses his wing to blow away some of the smoke) Nice job dick shit.

Rapper: (smoke clears) Wolf!? Wolf! Where are you!?

(all that's left is a scorched mark on the ground)

Foully: Oh great the bastard killed himself.

Rapper: Shit. Wolf's dead. What the fuck are we gonna do with his body?

(Now it shows the graveyard with everyone surrounding Wolf's grave. Fox with Fifi, is seen crying along while many others have come to attend Wolf's funeral)

Lad: What can we say about Wolf? He was a crazy psychopathic killer with a sick sense of humor. But when we needed someone to help us, he would sometimes show up!

Red: (cries) I lost my best friend!

Lad: Time and again, he would come and risk his life just for the fun of it when in reality he would save us from danger!

Blue: Hey!! I thought I was your best friend!

Emily: I even miss when he hurt me and harassed me!!! (starts bawling and grabs Fox) I miss Wolf!!

Fox: (holds Emily) I do too sweety.

Rapper: Yeah. He was a good guy. Well sort of...

Fifi: (shows Fifi bawling at Wolf's grave) I lost my Taco!

Lord Tourettes: He was such a DICK guy!

Lad: Life will never be the same dear friend. You will always be the greatest warrior I ever met!

Emily: Remember all those times he made me cry?

Blue: Yeah why?

Emily: I wish I had never pissed or pooped on his stuff or rubbed my pussy on his hat and hand.

Foully: I guess I'll miss the fucker too.

Lad: Good-bye old friend!

Rapper: (places his Ka-bars on the grave) You will be missed. (places Wolf's Ka-bars)

(Emily lies down near his grave and hugs his grave stone and cries)

Fox: (Remains at the grave site as people start to leave and tears roll down her eyes) Why did you leave?

(Wolf wakes up in a white open space)

Wolf: Oh no I'm blind! Oh wait I can still see my hands.

Deep voice: Welcome Wolf.

Wolf: (jumps into a combat stance) Who that is?

Death: (walks out) I am the one to take you to the next life.

Wolf: Whoa, look at you! Definitely needs a tan.

Death: Oh ha ha. Like I haven't heard that one before.

Wolf: So tell me, when you get an erection, do you still call it a boner?

Death: (glares) very funny.

Wolf: I can wonder why you are never able to bring death to dog lovers uh?

Death: Shut up!

Wolf: When you step in cold weather do you actually say...

Death: Don't even say!

Wolf: ... chilled to the bone.

Death: You know what? Fuck it! I'm sending you straight to hell!

Wolf: No, no, no. According to the rules, I can challenge you to a game to earn a life back.

Death: Damn! Fine, what game do you want to play.

Wolf: See who can teach a dog the best trick.

Death: Fine you go first.

Wolf: (gets a dog) Okay boy... (points at Death) Bury those bones!

Death: Oh shit!

(dog attacks and takes Death apart to bury him)

Wolf: Okay your turn. Oh wait you can't give commands now so I win then.

Death: (Wolf digs Death's head out) Fine I'll give you back your life.

Wolf: Nope. I said that I earn a life back and I choose yours.

Death: No wait!

(Wolf gets Death's cloak and scythe and Death becomes a pile of normal bones)

Wolf: Wait till I show the guys!

(Rapper is at his house after the funeral)

Rapper: (sighs) I sure do miss Wolf.

Wolf: (Appears behind Rapper with the hood covering his face and talks in a deep cold voice) Rapper.

Rapper: (scared) Gaah!! What the fuck!? Who are you!?

Wolf: It is time for your life to end. Your time has come.

Rapper: NO!!! WHY ME!?

Wolf: Because... (pulls hood over head and talks normally) I'm just fucking with ya! (laughs)

Rapper: (pissed) Wolf!? What the fuck!? What happened!?

Wolf: I met Death and beat him in a game to win a life and I chose his so now I am death.

Rapper: Hmmm. (evily smiles) I wonder how Blue would react to this?

(Red and Blue's Apartment)

Red: (playing Flame War with Blue) I'm gonna win!

Blue: How can you play after Wolf just died?

Red: Suck my dick!

(suddenly Wolf barges in with his hood on)

Wolf: Red and Blue!

Blue: OH MY GOD!!!

Red: HOLY FUCK!!!

Wolf: The time has come.

Blue: (Begs on his knees) Oh please spare us! I don't want to die!

Red: There are so many women I haven't fucked yet! (starts crying)

Wolf: The time has come to... (reveals himself) ... prank the fuck out of both of you! (laughs)

Rapper: (walks in and laughs) We got you!

Blue: Wha... what the fuck dude? you scared the living, Holy shit Wolf you're alive!?

Wolf: In a way yes.

Red: How?!

Emily: Not even death can put down this Wolf. High five! (raises hand)

Rapper: (High fives Wolf as Rapper Falls down dead)

Wolf: Ha! I knew one of you would fall for that.

Blue: What the fuck!? Rapper just died!!

Wolf: Don't worry about it. (Snaps finger and brings Rapper back)

Rapper: Gaah!? What the fuck!?

Wolf: I'm Death remember? Death's touch?

(touches Blue and kills him)

Red: Aw Sick!

Wolf: Magic!

(brings Blue back)

Rapper: (laughs) Wolf just killed you!

Blue: It's not funny!! Why Wolf!!!???

Wolf: Because I'm a sick son of a bitch with a sick sense of humor.

Rapper: Aah I love my friends.

Fox's House

(Fox is holding Fifi While they are crying until they suddenly feel a cold chill in the air)

Fox: Wha... What is that?

Fifi: Cold lonely no wolfy.

(Death appears in front of them as they both scream)

Demonic voice: The time has come to devour your children!

(Both girls scream in fearful panic until Wolf pulls back the hood and laughs hard)

Wolf: Oh man you should see the looks on your faces!

Fox: (joyful and furious) Wolf you asshole son of a bitch! You scared the crap out of me!

Fifi: I knew it was you the whole time! (hugs Wolf and dies)

Fox: Fifi!

Wolf: Don't worry it's temporary.

Fox: What happened?

Wolf: I beat death at a game and now I momentarily took his place.

Fox: If I wouldn't die I'd hug you and kill you at the same time!

Wolf: That would have to wait. there is one more person I want to visit last. (vanishes)

Broseph's House

(Emily was crying in Broseph's arms)

Broseph: Don't cry Emily I'm sure Wolf is in a better place.

Emily: (sniffs) you think so?

Bropseph: I know everything.

(Broseph is then split in two down the middle. Emily screams as she sees Death holding a scythe over Brosephs split body)

Death: Do you know what time it is Emily?

Emily: Don't come near me or I will piss on you!

Death: It's time to... (Pulls off hood to reveal himself as Wolf) tell you that you just got punked! (laughs)

Emily: Wolf I hate you and wish you were dead!

Wolf: Well that seems impossible now that I am death with death's touch. Here give me a hug!

(Emily scream and runs through a wall)

Wolf: Gun Hoe mother fuckers.

-Episode Ends-